Hi Reader

We've spent most of August talking about holidays, taking proper breaks and giving ourselves things to look forward to, which has felt very appropriate after my slightly last-minute escape.

But there's something I've been thinking about since coming home.

We can't holiday our way out of a life that doesn't give us enough space to recover.

As wonderful as Malaysia was for me, I don't want to get to the point where I desperately need to fly halfway across the world to feel like myself again.

I'd quite like to learn from that experience instead.

And unfortunately, the things that seem to help me most between the exciting holidays, adventures and big moments are incredibly boring!

Going for a walk.

Doing my yoga.

Journalling.

Meditating.

Eating proper meals.

Taking breaks from work.

Putting my phone down.

Nothing groundbreaking there, is there?

And yet these are often the first things to quietly disappear when life gets busy, despite being some of the very things that help us cope with life being busy in the first place.

I've been thinking about this particularly in relation to my phone because I've been making a conscious effort to spend less time on it recently.

I don't think I realised quite how often I was reaching for it.

Waiting for the kettle to boil? Phone.

Five minutes before leaving the house? Phone.

Watching something on TV? Somehow also on my phone.

A tiny gap appears in the day and before my brain has even registered that there is a gap, I've filled it.

And I don't think I'm unusual in that.

For those of us who spend our working days concentrating, responding, problem-solving and generally having lots of information coming at us, our phones can easily become another stream of input that follows us into all the spaces where our brains might otherwise have had a chance to wander.

So I've been experimenting with leaving mine alone more.

Sometimes I put it in another room.

Sometimes I leave it behind when I'm doing something around the house.

Sometimes I notice myself reaching for it and think, Nope, you can be bored for five minutes.

And do you know what's happened?

I've got more time.

Obviously the day hasn't magically acquired a 25th hour. I'm just seeing some of the minutes I was previously giving away without noticing.

I've also found myself feeling calmer.

I've had ideas pop into my head when I'm doing absolutely nothing.

Problems I've been turning over for ages suddenly seem to have a possible solution when I'm walking around without something playing in my ears.

I've remembered things I wanted to do.

I've thought about people I wanted to call.

I've allowed one thought to actually finish before giving my brain another one.

And one of the funniest benefits is that when I watch television now, I actually know what's going on!

Turns out programmes are much easier to follow when you're looking at the television rather than simultaneously scrolling through your phone.

Who knew?

My battery also lasts considerably longer. Lo and behold, apparently phones don't need charging every night when we stop using them every waking second.

None of this means I've suddenly developed the perfect relationship with technology.

Far from it.

There are still days when I pick my phone up to check one thing and resurface twenty minutes later wondering why I'm looking at a video I had absolutely no intention of watching.

I'm not interested in shaming myself for that.

I'm interested in noticing it and trying again.

Because I think that's how most sustainable habits are actually built.

We have this idea that we're going to make a rule (e.g. I'm only using my phone for an hour a day from now on!) follow it perfectly, and emerge three weeks later as a new woman.

And then Thursday happens.

You spend far longer scrolling than you intended, decide you've "failed", and the whole experiment gets abandoned.

I'd much rather start ridiculously small.

Put your phone in another room while you eat dinner.

Leave it on the kitchen counter while you shower and get ready.

Watch one episode of something without simultaneously scrolling.

Take a ten-minute walk without your phone.

Sit with your coffee for five minutes and do absolutely nothing.

And yes, you might be bored. I actually think that's part of the point.

I'm trying to befriend boredom again. Because boredom creates space.

And I'm beginning to think space is something many of us are desperately lacking.

If every spare moment is filled with emails, messages, podcasts, Instagram, news, television and other people's thoughts, when does your brain get to have any thoughts of its own? When does it get to process the meeting you just left? Work through the problem you've been stuck on? Notice how you're actually feeling? Come up with an idea? Or just... do nothing for a bit?

I don't think every moment needs to be used well.

That's another trap.

I'm not putting my phone down so that I can squeeze more productivity out of myself.

Sometimes I put my phone down and achieve absolutely nothing.

Wonderful. My nervous system still gets the break.

And that's really what this whole month has brought me back to.

The big breaks matter.

Please take your annual leave. Book the holiday. Have the weekend away. Go and see the world if that's what lights you up.

But don't forget the tiny breaks available to you on an ordinary day too.

Five quiet minutes.

Lunch away from your desk.

A walk without more information being pumped into your brain.

An evening where you're actually present for the evening.

These little practices aren't particularly glamorous and nobody is going to ask to see the photos afterwards.

But they're part of what stops us relying entirely on the big escape to put ourselves back together.

So perhaps this weekend, rather than completely overhauling your relationship with your phone, choose one little pocket of your day and make it phone-free.

See what happens in the space you've created.

And if you forget tomorrow and spend an hour scrolling? Oh well. Put it down and start again.

No shame. No dramatic declarations that you have no willpower. We're just practising.

I'd actually love to know what you discover.

If you try creating a little more phone-free space this week, reply and tell me what you did with it… particularly if the answer is absolutely nothing.

I think we could all do with a little more of that.

Speak soon.

With care and wellness,

Cat